I feel awkward every time I try to start a blog post. I never knew the pressure of finding the right words to begin. So I have decided not to allow it to stop me or slow me down from posting. In order to do that, though, I’ll be beginning some posts with “Dear Diary” when I’m not sure what else to say. Sounds appropriate enough to me.
Now that we have the particulars out of the way I can get to the good stuff. This post was something I felt called to write last night before bed. So I jotted down a few words and finally got a moment this afternoon to pull it all together. First things first, this is a post about lady stuff. So men, BYE.
About 4-5 years ago Joe and I were hitting some rough patches. We were both working full-time, hadn’t been married all that long at this point and we were still figuring this whole “new normal” thing out. My Dad had passed away not too long before all the difficult times began so I was still reeling from those emotions. Maybe those difficult times hadn’t began then… maybe they were only just being brought to my attention at this point. I don’t know if I want the answer to that question, to be honest.
About every 28ish days I would begin this “rage”, an anger and frustration over something or nothing that began in the morning and took me through most of the day. It only lasted about a day and at some point during this “rage” I would always end up in tears. I would always focus my frustration on Joe. What he wasn’t doing, what he was doing, what I felt he could be doing better, what I thought he could be doing differently. Every month, like clock work, there I was telling him we “needed to talk” and I would unleash this fury of complaints in his direction. Obviously, he would get angry, maybe upset, definitely hurt. We would argue, it would end in tears (on my part) and we wouldn’t speak for the rest of the day.
The next day, I would at some point find myself shamefully hiding tampons in the garbage can. Trying to cover up the fact that I had gotten my period after this blow up. I knew that if he found out that I had gotten my period then every emotion I expressed would be null and void after that. It would all be blamed on my hormones, this time, last time, next time. I would never be able to express myself emotionally without it coming back to this. Wild hormones. I felt so embarrassed.
Even though I was ALWAYS ashamed of the things I said out of anger, there were some real emotions in there. Some things I held on to all month long. All of which came out in the wrong way every single time.
He’s not stupid. He always knew. Eventually he got brave and began to call me out on this. It would only light my fire. I’d become more angry, more brazen with my words. I don’t think that I need to explain how badly this hurt our relationship.
Needless to say, everything worked out alright. I took time to work on me and we worked on our lack of communication, which was the foundation of these issues. Isn’t it always?
Not much changed in the hormone department during those years that followed, we just knew how to handle it all month long so the “rage” that came was less, I learned to shut myself away, and writhe alone until it passed. In 2015, we got pregnant and I am shocked to say that it helped. I was fairly chill throughout my pregnancy. I had lots of ups and downs after Harper was born but chalked it up to the wild rollercoaster that is postpartum.
January 2017, I started using essential oils, not for hormone support, but along with the oils and diffuser I got access to the member exclusive groups through Facebook. There I learned that these bottle did way more than make my house smell nice and keep my daughter healthy.
Specifically, Casey Weigand shared her love for Progessence Plus and she shared her testimony of how Pro+ helped her. I was so interested that I began doing a bit more reading about it, asked a few questions, and eventually took the plunge. I started using it right after my last period ended (there was no specific reason for that timing except that’s when it arrived).
So here is the part I’m sure you’re all waiting to hear… I got my period last night and I had NO idea it was coming. I mean that in the best way possible. It was on time, it was totally normal, and I didn’t feel one single ounce of rage, anger, frustration, or sadness leading up to it. I was as happy as could be the last few days. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that this has everything to do with Pro+.
I happily shared my menstrual update with Joe as soon as it happened and he was equally as thrilled to hear that we had officially made it through some of the tough stuff. I have never felt so hormonally balanced as I do these days. & that is worth its weight in GOLD.